Contagiously Sinking Elephant

The sign read "Caution: Delicious Peanut Butter." Mario wasn't scared though. Who would be afraid of peanut butter? What elephant in his right mind wouldn't just walk up to the edge and eat his or her fill of that smooth, savory peanut-buttery lake? Bruno was more of a cautious elephant, he remembered the tales, handed down through generations of giant land-walkers, about the tar pits; the peanut butter lake bubbled and shlorped in the manner he had always come to associate with the tar pits in his grandfather's stories. Bruno read the sign, heeded it, and stayed an elephant-length away from the gurgling mess. Mario, much to Bruno's dismay, jumped right in and started eating, his ears flapping happily in a single moment of utter satisfaction. It was apparent, almost immediately, that Mario was in trouble though. He managed to climb half out of the viscous peanut muck before it started to drag him down. Momentarily frozen by Mario's misfortune, Bruno turned to leave too late and was dragged backward as Mario grabbed his tail. Stupid little tail, Bruno thought, and stupid long nose.

Partially Incapacitated Moth

Life is too short to spend half the day hiding from the evil day star. It feels like just yesterday I had more legs than I knew what to do with and here I am today, windswept and awestruck, fairly certain that I am the only moth to ever have flown so high or so fast. It was...I don't even have words for it. Everyone said, "Larry, listen, you need to hide when everything gets so bright and you need to eat and further the Mothian Empire when it gets dark." All I wanted to do was fly. I got my chance this morning when the world turned bright. I was cooling my feet on this giant bird–they aren't all that bad, despite what all the other moths say–when it suddenly clamped itself on one of my wings, roared this piercing denial of being earthbound, and screeched into the sky. Yes, my wing may be unusable for the rest of my short time, but I don't care. I lived and that's all that matters.

Airborne Castle Goalkeeper

Nobody thought that Castle would ever be a successful soccer player. Aside from his checkered past and allegations that he bumped off a pawn or two in his youth, Castle was no good in tryouts for the forward, midfielder, or fullback positions. The coach gave him every opportunity to improve, but Castle was rigid, unable to move freely. Then the coach stuck him in goal and Castle thrived. He slid from left to right with an ease that made him the envy of every coach in the league. Castle knows that his mother and father disapprove, but he doesn't care, they couldn't keep him in check forever. This was a strategic move for him and he loves the game.

Intensely Interested Samurai

The arrow bounces off of his helmet with a barely audible ping, and yet Ichiro pays it no mind. Moments later when the flash of a sword ripping through the air ends abruptly with the sound of shattering metal, Ichiro doesn't even register that his armor deflected and destroyed another Samurai's sword without taking on so much as a scratch. All he knows is that this clover, with its four luscious leaves, needs to be admired. He must stare at it, his sword and bow forgotten, or risk a fate more horrible than disgrace. He smells fresh grass and grains, the salt of the sea, and he has an almost insatiable urge to dance in place.

Acutely Aware Sunglasses

Good morning Random People! Before I get into today's new design, I would like to thank everyone who has "Liked" the Facebook Page. Why do I want to do this? Because last night, around 10pm, the page received its 100th Like! I know, I know, 100 likes is a drop in the bucket, but it feel like an important drop in the bucket to me, so, thank you to everyone who has clicked the "like" button, and a future thank you to those who click it in the future.

Scrumptiously Unattractive Skeleton - Guest Design!

Hello Random People! Surprise! It's a Tuesday/Monday evening Three Random Words guest design. Scrumptiously Unattractive Skeleton was designed by the Wifelette in response to a phrase submitted by her brother Nate. When he submitted the design, I really had no idea how I was going to express the words scrumptiously and unattractive at the same time in the same design. I brought it up to the Wifelette and she came up with something immediately. She remembered this old waitress we had at a Denny's one time who had the most disgustingly ugly make-up job. She had this blue eye shadow that was caked on so thick that the skin above her eyes looked like a dried out stream bed under a blue filter (that was funnier in my head and involved salt flats...which are quite flat and not cracked). She then said it would be hilarious to have the skeleton with that same make-up laying on a serving dish. I loved the idea and asked her to do it as a guest design. Details on her process after the jump.

Sadly Fanged Coconut

Hello Random People! What a wonderful Monday morn...I can't even finish that sentence. The weekend never seems to last long enough. Either the Wifelette and I are travelling all over the place to see not-so-random people, or we have some event to attend that whisks time away from us like some sort of temporal anomaly. But hey, new design! Sadly, I don't even like coconuts, I think it has something to do with the texture. However, I can't help but feel a little twinge for this poor guy. Not only is he badly drawn, colored, and shaded (fishing for comments?), but he's got such bad teeth. Read more about the random phrase and the design after the jump.

Kitten Decoy Squid

Hello Random People! This design is part of a bonus two-design day. Yesterday I hosted a poll on the Facebook Page to decide which of five different random phrases I should use for today's design. With 7 votes apiece when I sat down to draw last night at 8:30pm, both Cautiously Folding Penguin and Kitten Decoy Squid won. Instead of using my own vote as a tie breaker, I decided to treat (I hope it's a treat anyway) everyone to a double dose of Three Random Words designs today. More information on this design after the jump.

Cautiously Folding Penguin

Hello Random People! This design is part of a bonus two-design day. Yesterday I hosted a poll on the Facebook Page to decide which of five different random phrases I should use for today's design. With 7 votes apiece when I sat down to draw last night at 8:30pm, both Cautiously Folding Penguin and Kitten Decoy Squid won. Instead of using my own vote as a tie breaker, I decided to treat (I hope it's a treat anyway) everyone to a double dose of Three Random Words designs today. More information on this design after the jump.

Vote for Friday's Design!

Hello Random People! Head over to the Three Random Words Facebook Page and cast your vote for Friday's design!

The random phrases, submitted by Random Followers, are:

• Sporadically Nautical Fowl
• Cautiously Folding Penguin
• Slowly Flying Computer
• Kitten Decoy Squid
• Scrumptiously Unattractive Skeleton

While you're on the Facebook Page, don't forget to hit the "Like" button!

-Rob Signed Off

Rapidly Enlarge Pretzel

Hello Random People. It is Wednesday, that means its time to unveil the new design, which you can see above these very words! Thanks go to Jason for supplying the random phrase for today's illustration. He originally had said that we should use some of the phrases from his junk mail in order to make an illustration. I told him that if he replaced any references to male genitalia with "pretzel" and any references to female genitalia with "donut" (donut ask me why I chose these words...or made that pun), then I would consider it. He quickly came back with Rapidly Enlarge "Pretzel," the phrase for today's illustration, which I have already said, and will not say again.

When I finished the sketch for this I looked down at it and went "OMG! This is crap!" (I don't think I actually said OMG, I'm not the type of person who says OMG, alot of people say OMG better than I do.) Ahem...anyway, I thought it was going to end up fairly awful. But, it was late, and I didn't want to redraw it or draw something else, so I inked it, scanned it, and moved forward with coloration and shadification (new word!). Want to know how it turned out?

Tattered Old Bear

Hello Random People. As you can see, yesterday's design was "Tattered Old Bear." You may be thinking to yourself, "But, Rob, that's really...not all that random." I would agree with yourself, it really isn't, and here's the reason why. You can't really argue semantics with the person who gave birth to you. It is really that simple. If she says that she randomly came up with the words Tattered Old Bear (even though she has a thing for Teddy Bears...and by a thing, I mean a house full of them) then you just have to nod your head an believe it. Well, you don't have to, but you probably should.

If you hadn't figured it out, my mother submitted this phrase to me and, with a lack of votes on last night's poll, I decided to go ahead and draw it, even though it kind of breaks tradition with the work that I've done for Three Random Words thus far. That being said, I'm happy with how it turned out. With THAT being said, I am going to implement some regulations for submitting random phrases for consideration; look for these soon. I love that people are interested in seeing their phrases come to life as Three Random Words designs, but I think I want to keep them a bit more quirky.

T-Shirt Sighted

A wild t-shirt appears! Okay, maybe not so wild. Thanks to Josh for purchasing, and wearing, the very first Three Random Words T-Shirt!

Check back tomorrow for a new design!

-Rob Signed Off

Psychologically Destabilize Substance

Hello Random People. This is a grand day! Not only is it Friday, but I managed to produce three designs that were each released on the day they were scheduled to be released! Alright, so Monday's went up 9:30pm, but hey, it still went up on Monday.

Today's design, Psychologically Destabilize Substance, included a few elements that I find the hardest to draw/illustrate/color (artistically represent?). Those elements would be glass, liquids, reflections, and faces. The faces I feel like I did an okay job on. The glass...not so much. Don't get me wrong, I love this design because it comes close to the image I had in my head, but I don't think its as well put together as Well Fed Skater or Pickax Ethical Melon.

The idea behind the design here is that Green Beaker has wandered onto a private moment between Pink Beaker and, for lack of a better name, Dipstick. You can decide for yourself if the destabilizing part of this comes from Pink Beaker being the mother of Green Beaker or the spouse of Green Beaker. I think Dipsticks mustache and wild eyes and smile really make this design lewd. The Wifelette said she didn't think the design really went with the words. I still think its funny though.

Pickax Ethical Melon

Following the blog yet? Why!? The Facebook Page? Really?! Subscribed to the YouTube Channel? Why not do it today? Guaranteed to cost you nothing more than a few seconds of your time!

Hello Random People. Crap! I used it again. Maybe it'll stick, who knows?  I have to admit that I rearranged the words on this design a little bit. The random phrase generator came up with "Ethically Pickax Melon" and I couldn't think of a way to ethically pickax a melon. So, because I'm kind of a rebel (pffft!) I switched the words around to what you see. I was still a little stumped on how to make the melon look like it was ethical, so I searched images.google.com (keyword: ethical) and found a lot of images where a halo was used. So I thought, "Why not?" A little drawing, inking, and coloring later and you have today's design.

-Rob Signed Off

Well Fed Skater

Hello Random People. That sounds dumb doesn't it? Maybe I won't use that salutation again. Hey look, a new Three Random Words design! Personally, this one keeps cracking me up. I know its not exactly a masterpiece illustration, but I definitely think these designs are getting better (especially when the Wifelette lends a hand).

I realize that "Well Fed Skater" is a bit more literal and a lot less random than some of the other designs, but when the Wifelette and I were clicking through the random word generator this image popped into my head after we had already passed by the phrase you see above. I explained the image, which you see above, and then I explained why I simply could not do it.

Careless Beetle Statistician

I suppose this design is going to have to cover for Wednesday and Friday, as Thursday's vlog stated, I was just exhausted this week from the long weekend. I know that seems sort of backwards, but every time there is an extended weekend, I end up driving for anywhere from 2-4 hours one way depending on where we're going. That's what comes with moving away from your friends and family to live in Columbia, MD...where there are no diners, none whatsoever. I would settle for an Eat N Park. But I suppose that's too low brow for a planned city (is it a city?) like Columbia.

Wow, digression much? Design, right, this design is "Careless Beetle Statistician" and is based, loosely, on the fact that my border collie puppy (Maizy/Poo Face) has this crazy fascination with beetles. When they get into the house, she tracks them down and then spends the majority of the next hour following them around the house, trying to bite them, and when their weird little legs touch her she jumps back, shakes her head, looks at us with that happy puppy face, and starts the whole process all over again.