Anxiously Modern Furniture

I have been on sale at Ken's Current Furniture for four long years. I was a trade-in for a particle board entertainment stand. Ken decided to keep me out on the showroom floor as a joke, something for people to compare with their more modern purchases. I can't say its been easy. Nobody has an eye for the elegant anymore. I'm not kitschy enough, that is to say, I'm not kitschy at all, and people don't like that. My cherry finish can't compete with the bright, neon colors of these amorphous abominations that have the gall to call themselves furniture. Sure, my seat is a little faded and there are a few small scratches in my glossy coat, but I'm sturdy. I'll last forever. You'll be lucky if that porn-film knockoff doesn't dump you on your head after six months. I know when to admit defeat, though. If I want to be useful again I have to get with the times. I'm not going to spend my good years as a joke in overpriced furniture freak show. I already painted my seat a nice orange color, sure it's a little spotty, but I'm already getting more attention. Now I've got a bucket of neon green paint, a brush, and a holiday weekend over which I plan to lower myself into the cesspool of modernity. I hope this gets me out of here, because I can't stand another day of the smug look that orange chair keeps giving me.

 Good morning Random People! The phrase for today's design, Anxiously Modern Furniture, was submitted by Jonathan Kirkendall. Thanks! Remember that you can submit your own random, three-word phrases by clicking on the "Submit Phrase!" button to your right. I had a lot of fun drawing the furniture for today's design. I thought it was going to be really difficult, but it all came together pretty quickly, which is good, because Photoshop decided to take a cigarette break on me right after I got done with the coloring and I had to do it all over again. I managed it, though!

-Rob Signed Off